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The April Fool and Lord Douche

Jeff Taylor. Fot. Sławomir Ostrowski

Another holiday has come and gone. Not Easter you loser but April Fool’s Day. This year it was just before Easter so people didn’t really notice it. People were excited about the long weekend and preparing for all the Sunday activities (church, food, drinking, TV, drinking, food, TV, toilet, etc) and overlooked this quaint little special day.

In fact, April Fool’s Day should be up there as one of the major holidays, even religious, as Jesus’s resurrection was one of the greatest practical jokes. „Jesus isn’t really dead! Man, he fooled us!”

April Fool’s Day should have some character or symbol that kids could associate with this day. Christmas has Santa Claus, Easter has the Easter Bunny, Halloween has a jack o’ lantern, Thanksgiving has the Pilgrims and turkey. So I introduce to you the living embodiment of 1st April …the April Fool!

Kids, the April Fool is great! He brings fun and merriment to eveybody on the first of April. Nobody is safe from his hilarious but harmless practical jokes. Exchanging sugar for salt so that you have a salty cup of coffee. Replacing your Led Zeppelin CD’s with Modern Talking. Hiding one sock from each pair so that you are forced to wear mismatched socks!

Such countries as Italy have a character who punishes naughty children to accompany the one bearing gifts. Either a troll, a witch, the Devil, Peter Schwarz, etc. There must also be a creature to ruin the fun for some individuals on April Fool’s Day. This is a day of innocent fun. No hurt feelings. No tears. Yet there always has to be a bad apple. Malicious jokes. Throws a bag of piss at somebody. Dumps trash on a front yard. Who will put that person in their place. That is …. Lord Douche. For every cruel prank, Lord Douche will take a huge steamy shit in that person’s shoe.

Next year, keep the spirit of April Fool’s Day in your heart. Say to yourself, „What would the Fool do?” and also „What could Lord Douche do to you?”

(łw)

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