A stupid tragedy

Jeff Taylor. Fot. Sławomir Ostrowski

What is a tragedy? A young boy crossing the street without looking if any cars are coming? The car isn’t be going that fast. Just 50 km per hour.

The boy maybe surivives but at that speed suffers from major injuries. Paralysis? Possibly. Imagine the street is on a hill, and if the car is instead a truck, it runs over the boy. Major organ failure. He dies from his injuries.

Such an event is heart-wrenching for the mother. But what about if that boy was unaware of any cars because he was talking on his cell phone? An even greater tragedy. A senseless death because of stupidty. The stupidity of that stupid kid. Stupidity that will affect people around him.

The mother. She’s waiting for her little boy. The one piece of happiness in her dreary life. She works all day in that shitty office. It’s only seeing her son in the afternoon that she finds the strength and will to go home.

Waiting at the door a police officer. He asks if she is the mother of (random boy name here). „Yes, I am. What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

She hadn’t answered her phone because it was turned off. She always does so after work. Afraid that her dumb-ass boss might want her to come back to the office to do one more task. Her mother could pester her to pick up some bread and bring it to her flat across town. Her mother lives next to a bakery.

Her only time to experience freedom. A pitiful bit of luxury. Becase of her pathetic selfishness nobody could inform her that the boy was lying in the hospital. Scared.

Ironic. The tragedy worsens because she was’t using her phone.

Stupid. That stupid boy.

The driver who hit the boy. It wasn’t his fault. He was driving according to the speed limit. 50Km per hour in towns, for the protection of stupid people. Unfortunately, in the eyes of the police he should have been prepared for the possibility of a stupid boy walking into the path of an oncoming car. He’ll be taken to the police station. He won’t be imprisoned but will have to pay a huge fine. Probably the gief-stricken mother will sue him as well. She wishes her stupid son were still alive. Realises his death was not the driver’s fault but her stupid son’s. However, the healing could begin more quickly with some extra cash. Nothing heals the scars caused by stupidity like money.

The guy behind the wheel had been having a good day. A happy boss. Lunch with his girlfriend. Plans this evening to go with friends for a cople beers. On top of that it was Friday afternoon. The weekend was on the way. What could go wrong?

But what’s the tragedy here? Accidental death? Accidental death because of talking on the cell phone? Ruined lives?

Death when having a terrible haircut.

The crime to humanity….the mullet.

If a boy has to die accidentally stupidly because of blabbering on his cell phone and walking into the street to suddenly meet a car, at least do it with a good haircut.

When a police officer arrives on the scene of the accident, his first thought, „Geez, what a loser.”

The paramedics arrive soon after and the policeman reports to them the situation, „Check out the dude with the douchey haircut.”

The mother overcome with grief, „Oh why? How could this happen? Why did I aggree to that stupid haircut? He looks worse than my dumb-ass husband when I first met him in 1990. God, do you have a sick sense of humour?”

She’ll see if his hair can be cut at the funeral parlour before the funeral is held.

That’s the tragedy. His family, his friends, the community will soon forget his warm heart, generousity, kindness, sports achievements, good school marks, but that stupid mullet will always be in their memories.

Love dies but not poor fashion choices.

Listen

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(łw)